Time for gratuitous Holidy Jet Pack screenshots!

"Clown In Flight", watercolor, circa 2005, Stabby T. Clown.

     Lord Recluse is generous, indeed! Who says EVIL! can't enjoy a little Christmas cheer? Thanks to recent "detours" in some Longbow equipment shipments, Villains everywhere are now literally enjoying dazzling new heights in their nefarious careers. Some Villains who already have the ability to Fly are grumbling a bit, but I personally like these Jet Packs. You don't get worn out using them (0 End cost) and, more importantly, the jet packs are helping the lower-level Villains level quicker by getting them to missions faster. More Powerful Villains = More EVIL!!! Need I say more?

Anyone looking out their apartment window now will be treated to a wonderful view of a Flying Clown.

     Stabby has the Teleportation power, so I don't necessarily have to use the Holiday Jet Pack. But I do anyways, 'cause it's so much damn fun. Although I get to my destination a little slower, I get there with full endurance. Being a Stalker, that helps a lot, heh. Especially in the PvP zones, where I might have to Assassinate Strike someone such as:

"Burial At Sea"

     I was patrolling Siren's Call when I saw a big ol' Hero vs. Villain battle taking place. I teleported, hidden, beside "Liberty Avenger" and hit her with a nicely Built-Up Assassin Strike. And she died. Yay! While I can't take complete credit for taking her down (note Liberty's angry "tag team BULL" comment in the chat window, hehehe), Stabby still made a nice killshot. Gotta give an evil mutant clown credit for something.

I like these pictures of my assassination victims. I'll to get more of 'em in the future for you. Everyone likes screenshots of PvP mayhem, and the annoyed victims.

Here's an NPC victim of mine, but what makes him kinda funny is that he's the infamous "Cement Shoes" mobster sometimes spotted around the Isles:

"You'll be swimming with the fishes, see?"

     It's hilarious watching this guy hop around in a panic while his mob "buddies" stand around, point, and laugh. These guys are super-easy to take down. I mean, who fights back with their arms tied behind their hands & their feet encased in a bucket of cement? I should try to make an animated gif of "Cement Shoes" NPC hopping around, it's pure comedy.

Speaking of comedy (ain't Stabby the master of the segue-way, no?), I was just minding my own Evil Mutant Clown business the other day, complaining about the SG I was in at the time, when suddenly I heard some guy with the original name of "Commander Dax" blurt out "glol".

Please explain to me what a "GLOL" is...please.

     Uncertain if he was laughing at me (hey, I'm a clown, people laugh at clowns. I'm used to it, but I like to know WHEN people are laughing at me, its only polite), we had the following conversation:

Commander Dax: "glol"

Commander Dax: (realizing I'm looking at him because he said "glol" locally) "that was me not typing properly to group"

Stabby T. Clown: "I...I don't make you...laugh?"

There's something to be said for being TOO honest, especially for a Super Villain with a ripped-off name.

     Commander Dax: "Actually you make me wet my pants a little"

     Heh. Funny.

Not that Stabby T. Clown gets much work performing at kid's parties these days...

     Stabby T. Clown: "Well, I have that effect on kids ages 3 - 80"

Commander Dax: "I bet".

Some guy named "Chaos Reaver" watches the conversation for a moment. Nice name, he should give tips to "Commander Dax". Or, wait. Isn't "Chaos Reaver" from the Dungeons & Dragons game? Isn't ANYBODY creative anymore besides ME?!?

     Hehehe. I love it when a Villain gets scared by my appearance. If Stabby T. Clown is evil-looking enough to give Super Villains the willies, imagine the effect I have on the Super Heroes...

Commander Dax: "I'll be sending you my therapy bills"

Stabby T. Clown: "I like your original nickname!"

Okay, not a nice thing to say to a fellow EVIL! Villain. But if you can't come up with an original name, you're Fair Game in Stabby's Big Book O' Stabbing.

     Well, I guess I don't have to tell you right after my sarcastic comment, Commander Dax left. Well, fine. But if you're reading this, "Dax"...why, WHY, did you rip-off a name from the "Star Trek" series for a Super Villain? Y'see, this is the sort of non-creative stunt that gives Cryptic Studios legal headaches. I have a predicition: "Commander Dax" will soon become the Super Villain feared world-wide as "GenericVillain7833".

Beh, enough of THAT. But before I move on, let me say this about that thing: if Stabby gets a screenshot of you using a non-original and/or ripped-off name, you are OPEN SEASON for cheerful insults on Stabby's Weblog Of EVIL!! And repeated Assassination Strikes in the PvP zones. Don't say you haven't been warned.

The time for negotiations has come to an end.

     No! It's NOT a "misunderstanding". Stabby DETESTS non-creativity! Stabby STABS those who would plagiarize characters from copyrighted media entertainment franchises! As a MMORPG player, I had a hard enough time dealing with all the idiots named "Gandolf" and "Raistlen Majere" in the swords & sorcery-genre online worlds like Ultima Online and WoW. I just don't get people who can't take five seconds to rub two brain cells together to get a spark of originality a-blazing. I PRAISE the Developers at Cryptic Studios in their firm cracking-down on anybody using an inappropriate and/or copyrighted name. City of Heroes and City of Villains is a great Original Work; it needs not get sullied by "players" calling themselves "TheThing821" or "Wolv.erine".

    Stabby needed to say that; I'm sure none of the above applies to YOU, the obviously intelligent and good-looking Faithful Reader of Stabby T. Clown's Weblog of EVIL! And I'm sure all of you agree with me in this matter. Why not? Stabby's Never Wrong.

    Let's close this weblog entry with a (ahem) peaceful picture, shall we? Even though us Super Villains can be a rough lot most of the time, there's that rare moment when you just have to stop and watch the sun set:

Ain't that a real right purdy sight? I'd make a move on Dead Belladonna during this romantic moment, but she'd hit me. Hard. If I'm lucky, in the face.

    Now, that's nice. Maybe not as beautiful as a downed assassination victim, or a free holiday jetpack, or an annoyed name-plagiarist I've insulted...but it's close.

    I remain your Humble Evil Servant,

    Stabby T. Clown.

    EVIL!!!!

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