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Evil JOY! EVIL
UPDATE IN THE STABBY WEBLOG O' EVIL! READ IT.... nnn... nNNnn... wait
for it... NOW.
Yes, Stabby
knows it's been awhile since he's updated, dammit. However,
this Evil Clown cannot complain, for without the gracious compliments
from the SuperCommunity which is, indeed, Super (Awwwww....), Stabby
would be just another random assassin wearing carnival greasepaint and
too much cheap cologne.
A big Shout Out to everyone on the Supervillain SHOUT! Tagboard,
especially Back-Alley Boss, who has moved right on in and evilly taken
it over. Kudos to you, Back-Alley Boss! Your support and appreciation
for ol' Stabs was a big part in bringing 'em back to the game.
Well, enough hard work slaving
over a hot keyboard for you demanding Super Villains. ITS ALWAYS 'MORE
MORE MORE' WITH YOU PEOPLE, ISN'T IT?!? Which is of course only right
& proper, since we are Super Villains; being EVIL!!!!!, all of
us deserve EVERYTHING in the WORLD, including bizarre clown humor, one
supposes... Some News:
Stabby is very close to level 50 (now level 47, one bub to 48) and is
doing the Big Grind to level 50. Stabby would have been level 50 much
earlier, if not for a break from the game for some months and a bad
case of alt-itis, said alts all having the "T. Clown" last name... bUt
AnYwAyS... Once Stabby
T. Clown hits the Big 5-0, there will be a big worldwide announcement
and maybe even a party. If all you Super Villains are lucky, delicious
pie will be served. Stabby will refrain from throwing 'em, for once in
his life. That being
said, Stabby hopes you enjoy the latest Evil Blog update! Kill lots o'
Heroes & Have A Stablicious Day. STABBY STABBY!!!
P.S. Have A Happy Hallowe'en!!!
(Stabby's gonna put a bag of
flaming dog poopie on Statesman's front porch and ring the doorbell
and run away a-hehehehehe)
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Stabby T Clown is BACK!
A big Official Stabby Apology for my abrupt departure from City of
Villains for five months, and the lack of updates on this evil
website. Stabby is sincerely sorry; all I can say is Damn’d Real Life
(DRL) reared its grim head for a bit, necessitating me to take a break
from the game.
Fortunately my life has improved to the point where I can get back to
playing City of Villains. While I regret the time I’ve lost being a
psychotic berserk clown with all my friends (and enemies, heh), my
absence has given me a certain perspective on many facets of the City
of Heroes/City of Villains mmorpg.
I am very gratified to see so much new content in the game. I’ve
played a lot of online multiplayer games and City of Heroes/Villains
is one of the best I’ve ever seen for content. So many other mmorpg’s
have bored me because their quests are so repetitive in nature, and
very similar in general “feel”. But with all the storyline missions,
strike forces, mayhem missions, respec missions, badge hunting, arena
battles, or just annoying heroes in the PvP zones by one-shot Assassin
Striking them and standing over their dead toon bodies while saying
“neener neener neener”… there’s always something to do in City
of Heroes/Villains.
Okay, Stabby should stop sounding like an advertisement for the game;
I don’t work for NCSOFT in any way, shape, or form. I’m just happy as
hell to see CoH/V improving so much after seeing so many other
mmorpg’s fail.
Stabby’s also very gratified to all his teammates in
World Wide Evil,
the best Super Villain Supergroup on the Pinnacle server (well, all
servers really, but being a WWE member my opinion may be a bit
biased). When I came back to City of Villains, everyone in World Wide
Evil welcomed me back with open arms and cries of “where the *&)($&#
have you BEEN, clown?”. Indeed, Stabby felt pangs of guilt (yes, the
evil clown has trace amounts of morals) for his abrupt departure, but
his WWE brethren and sisthren (?) took no offense, merely happy that
“The Clown with the Upside Down Frown” was back on the scene.
Indeed, many players were glad to see ol’ Stabs back and said “Howdy!”
in-game; to all of you, and to all the readers of Stabby T. Clown’s
Website O’ Evil, I proffer my humblest, most sincere gratitude. I
promise in the very near future more evil comedy at any hero’s expense
who crosses my path.
Right. Enough with the villainous emotional gooshiness. Let’s all go
kill super heroes.
Go. Kill. Heroes.
It’s good to be back! And stabbing backs! Stabby Stabby!
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I had such a
nice dream last night. I dreamt that Statesman, that annoying ultimate
do-gooder, had died violently at the hands of yours truly, Stabby T.
Clown.
Oh, it was so
nice. But my dream got me to thinking, y'know? What would you
do if you killed Statesman? You'd have this really inconvenient corpse
hanging around the place. Well, have no fear! When the day comes that
you strangle Statesman and weep tears of joy hearing the last death
rattle gasp from his dying throat, you'll KNOW what to do with the
corpse! Just read on, Evil Reader, and you too will learn...
51 Uses For A Dead Statesman
1. You can finally get that
impossible-to-get-in-character-creation helmet off his dead body.
2. Statesman’s hollowed out head makes a
great wacky superhero mask for Halloween.
3. Keep his body as a “life-size
HeroClix” collectable to show horrified friends, family, and
authorities. Remember to store Statesman in an acid-free plastic
sleeve.
4. You can drag his corpse into Fort
Arachnos and yell, “I GOT ‘EM, LORD RECLUSE!”
5. Re-do the “Weekend at Bernie’s” movie
with Statesman in the leading role.
6. You now have the opportunity to say
totally inappropriate things at Statesman’ funeral, like:
- “Statesman was a
big, fat, sweaty pig of a man, which means now there's more pie for
the rest of us.”
- “Sucks that he was shot in the head over and over and over, eh? Wow,
did Statesman ever get 0WNZ3R3D!” ”
- “Well, so much for
that “Paragon City Must Be Saved” crap now, eh? Eh?”
7. Vahzilok pay top dollar for Statesman
rib-eye steak.
8. With Statesman’ body in the passenger
seat, you can always use the express carpool lanes on the highway.
9. Cut off his head, remove his lower
jaw, and use the upper teeth as a handy ice-scraper.
10. Head = bowling ball. Strike!
11. Realistic dojo practice dummy.
12. Use as a scarecrow in your cornfield
to frighten all those dang niblet-stealin’ Rikti monkies away.
13. Bury Statesman’ head and upper chest
in the ground to use his buttocks as convenient bicycle stand.
14. Use Statesman’ shiny helmet to
reflect sunlight as a visual S.O.S. signal to passing planes when
you’re stranded on a desert island.
15. Circle of Thorns dartboard holder.
16. Go through Statesman’ pockets for a
nice supply of those trippy red and blue Inspirations that make you
feel so gooooood, maaaaaaaan.
17. Tell people his corpse is your new
life-size “Tickle Me Statesman” doll.
18. See how many Enhancements you can
get from selling his body.
19. Drag his body to a Superhero meeting
and proclaim, “Lo! Statesman has risen from the dead!” When his corpse
doesn’t move, nudge it and whisper in a dramatic stage-whisper,
“…c’mon, man, you’re embarrassing me….”
20. Statesman’ corpse makes a handy
heat-shield when re-entering Earth’s atmosphere after particularly
high superjumps; his cone-like helmet also ensures a turbulence-free
ride down.
21. Sit body in corner, tilt head back
to open mouth, insert a nice bunch of azaleas, daisies, and
forget-me-nots for a beautiful floral display. That’s a good thing.
22. Corpse can be redeemed at Dow
Chemicals for $4.37 worth of carbon, sodium, and other trace
chemicals.
23. Position Statesman on your porch
holding a shotgun to keep salespeople, religious fanatics, and Girl
Guides at bay.
24. Bring Statesman’ body with you to
the upcoming ‘City of Heroes’ convention for 50% off your registration
fees! (Offer void in Hawaii, the non-continental United States, and
Quebec).
25. Place body high in tree & scoop out
both eyes to make a perfect Blue Tufted Titmouse birdhouse! (Hint:
place birdfeed in lower jaw.)
26. Place body on your lawn during
Christmas beside the bodies of Positron and Synapse with some plastic
shepherds and sheep for a “CoH”-style Nativity scene.
27. Dress his body in women’s clothing
for that unique RealDoll™ you’ve always wanted so desperately.
28. Get Statesman’ credit cards from his
wallet to purchase liquor, adult DVD’s, & Cheeto’s.
29. Replace the HeroClix model in the
“CoH DVD Collector’s Edition” with Statesman’ severed head to raise
the value.
30. Walk up to a Superhero with
Statesman’ body and mime it to say, “moooore…brainnnss….”. When
annoyed Superhero turns around, say, “Heh, sorry, wrong movie.”
31. Bring his corpse to the next Pocket
D rave to totally “harsh their buzz”.
32. Place his remains on your
living-room coffee table as interesting conversation starter and
general ‘ice-breaker’ at parties:
Guest: “Oh, I
see you have Statesman’ decomposing corpse as the centerpiece!”
You: “Yes,
doesn’t it bring out the feng shui in the house?”
33. Hollow out back of corpse’s face to
make a Statesman Jello-brand jello mold.
34. Sell head to toupee store or hair
restoration clinic so they can use it in their front window to display
their goods and/or services.
35. Mount head on trophy display and
hang on living room wall so you can brag to your friends, “Yeah, I
bagged this beauty around level 50!”
36. Mush to fine paste; dry to a powder;
sprinkle on your breakfast oatmeal for a new sensation in flavor!
37. His corpse will be handy in Stabby
T. Clown’s upcoming movie, “Statesman Returns And Hunts Down The Evil
Mutant Clown Who Shot Him In The Chest, Face, & Abdomen Several
Times.”
38. Have Statesman’ body professionally
preserved & stuffed; pose him holding his thumbs up and grinning
beside a Ronald MacDonald statue next time MacDonald’s restaurant
offers their ‘The CoH Happy Meals’ to the public.
39. Oven mitt.
40. Instead of making ‘snow angels’ next
winter, apply ten thousand volts of electricity to make corpse
convulse & form a “Snow Statesman” on the wintry ground.
41. Run electrical wire through body
into head to make an impromptu decorative lamp stand. Aforementioned
ten thousand volts in #40 should also make his eyeballs glow like twin
lightbulbs. Leave helmet on head to stop eyes popping out when turning
on the electricity.
42. Abandon body at next Amway meeting
you’re suckered into attending.
43. Leave corpse on your parking space
at work to ensure nobody parks there.
44. Soylent Green, now with extra
Statesman!
45. Use as toboggan in the upcoming
Olympics to introduce new sporting event, “The City of Heroes Dead
Celebrity Luge”. Watch those sudden curves.
46. Buy one thousand hamsters and starve
them for two weeks. Then apply a thin layer of sesame seeds and honey
to Statesman’ body and place in cage containing ravenous hamsters.
Film the spectacle and place on Paragon City Television network during
primetime viewing hours.
47. Send compromising photos of
Statesman’ body and amorous, liquored-up circus clowns in a seedy
hotel room to the Paragon City newspaper.
48. Sell on eBay as a “Haunted Dead
Statesman Body”.
49. Stuff Statesman’ corpse into a phone
booth and laugh as you watch people line up to wait to use the phone.
50.
Efficient hostile mob attractor if body is thrown behind you while
fleeing combat.
51. Use as a greyhound racetrack ‘hare’
to race Super Villains.
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Stabby T. Clown
is pleased to announce The Registry Of Evil!
A soon-to-be comprehensive listing of 'City of Villain' Super Groups
and Individuals websites.
The Registry Of Evil is *FREE* for
any active Evil(!!!) Super Group and/or Villains to join. Just send Stabby your
URL and I'll be happy to include you. You can easily navigate to The
Evil Registry at any time by pressing the shiny new red "Villain
Groups" button to the left.
The only
requirements to join are that your Super Villain website be clearly
and easily recognized as a Villain website and it is fairly active.
It's okay if your site is a dual Hero(bleh!)/Villain kind o'
dealy, as long as it is easy to navigate to your CoV Super Group
section.
I've gone
through the Super Villain listings in the official City of Villains
Forums to compile this list; if I've missed yours, my freakin'
apologies OKAY!?!. Please
send me your link and complimentary outrage.
Stabby hopes
ALL the Super Villain Group Websites on the Internet send a 'Shout
Out' to this ol' evil mutant clown with their site's URL. If I can
provide a little more traffic to your Villainous Group's website and
help spread YOUR Evil, well, all of us Bad Guys 'n Gals take one
step closer to Total World Domination.
EVIL!!!
(P.S. Yes, yes, YES already!, to all
those people asking me in-game: a new Evil Blog update will be coming
soon! Geez, you Villains are insatiable! But...I love you all...maybe
it's the rum talking...but I love you all SO MUCH sniff...sniff..oh no
now I'm crying...sniff...come 'ere let me hug you wait don't back away
hey HEY)
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I had a
great conversation with some poor guy in a team last night. Well,
great for Stabby because it made this evil mutant clown laugh.
Not so great for the unfortunate Villain who made the mistake of
asking for an invite to our Super Group team.
The
following team chat is an anomaly: usually Stabby T. Clown and the
Super Group in which he's a member,
World Wide Evil,
very much enjoy teaming with newcomers and people we don't know. We
treat them with respect, as we would be treated. But I'm sorry,
Faithful Stabby Readers: if you join a WWE team and start raving
about your wife and the Lexus she just destroyed, all bets are OFF.
(Note:
The name of the Villain joining our team has been changed to "Master
Megafist" in order to respect his privacy and to keep me safe from
Bush's no-harassment-on-your-Internets law, even though I live in
Canada...y'see, I'm paranoid the American President will send a hit
squad of highly trained SEALS after me. It's a common phobia amongst
Canadians.)
(Warning:
adult language ahead! For the sake of your finer sensibilities, I'll
mildly edit the stronger stuff. No need to foul Stabby's upper-class
website and his Faithful Readers with vulgar profanity!)
Mr.Frost: ok
have the other send me a tell
(Master Megafist joins the team)
Stabby T. Clown: hey Master Meganuts
Master Megafist: f*ck*ng sh*t
Mr.Frost: what?
Stabby: T. Clown: just razzin' yah Mega ;)
Mr.Frost: who's your sk Mega?
Master Megafist: my freaking wife was asking me
to go rent and so she went and she freaking hit a damn Lexus
Master Megafist: anyone have tp?
Angel Dream: what were you renting?
Stabby T. Clown: was anyone hurt?
Stabby T. Clown: was the Lexus hurt?
Mr.Frost: let us get to the mission, whos your
sk?
Master Megafist: no it was parked!!! she
reversed and hit it with my excursion
Stabby T. Clown: were you hurt?
Master Megafist: naw i didnt go she did
Stabby T. Clown: were bystanders hurt?
Master Megafist: nope just her messing up the
Lexus
Cold Corruption: so she backed into it out of
spite?
Master Megafist: no shes freaking retarded
Mr.Frost: Master do you have an sk?
Master Megafist: shes the only one that always
hits freaking cars pisses me off
Cold Corruption: so it was not done on purpose?
O_o
Stabby T. Clown: maybe she shouldn't drive,
seeing as she backs into parked cars
Stabby T. Clown: unless it's her hobby
Mr.Frost: you will only get end of mission bonus
Stabby T. Clown: some people collect stamps
Stabby T. Clown: maybe she collects fenders
Stabby T. Clown: hurry up and back into the mission Mega bahahahaha
sorry
Skygen: need an afk, brb
Mr.Frost: bio b'right back
Stabby T. Clown: gonna go scream at the
neighbors for no reason, brb
Stabby T. Clown: GET OFF MY LAWN!
Stabby T. Clown: I don't have a plate in my head, I have a full set of
china!
Stabby T. Clown: Heard of the new corduroy pillows? They're making
headlines!
Stabby T. Clown: Hey, what's got four legs and an arm? A pitbull with
rabies bahahahaha
Stabby T. Clown: hello? is this thing on?
Stabby T. Clown: Where's Meganuts?
Stabby T. Clown: Maybe Mega had to go afk 'cause his wife backed into
another car with the Lexus
Master Megafist: hold on k
Master Megafist: stabby your not funny
Stabby T. Clown: I'm NOT?
Stabby T. Clown: Howdy, no offense?
Skygen: I'm back
Stabby T. Clown: Let's be pals, Mega!
Stabby T. Clown: Look! I can jump higher than your head!
Mr.Frost: back
Stabby T. Clown: Although I drive my head
through the acoustical tile
Stabby T. Clown: yeehaw!
Skygen: be careful! Stabby likes to lick people
for some strange reason
Master Megafist: now my wife is telling me that
she never paid for the freaking bond since she had a warrant and the
guy from the Lexus is calling the cops and shes with my son!!
Mr.Frost: OMG
Angel Dream: so, your saying you need to go AFK?
Stabby T. Clown: wow...you should write this all
down...real life stuff is always good to write
Master Megafist: any other time fun n dandy but
right now im pissed off
Stabby T. Clown: too bad we can't smack women
around anymore like the good ol' days
Skygen: what we can't? me and my wife smack each
other all the time!
Stabby T. Clown: let's not hear of your weird
bondage games
Skygen: oh wait, you mean the other type of
smacking, my bad
Stabby T. Clown: ARMAGEDDON!
Angel Dream: rofl
Skygen: ARMAGEDDON!
Skygen: so how many cars has she been through?
Master Megafist: no we have an excursion nothing
happens to our car
Stabby T. Clown: Yes, I was curious too...is
this a frequent occurrence?
Master Megafist: shes hit 2 cars
Angel Dream: at the same time?
Stabby T. Clown: Do you like, buy a new Lexus,
she peels out of the driveway and backs into the nearest passing car,
and you buy another Lexus? Ah, only 2, okay
Master Megafist: no WE HAVE AN EXCURSION she hit
a Lexus
Stabby T. Clown: Oh, sorry
Stabby T. Clown: So two Excursions have bit the dust?
Skygen: any of them parked cars?
Stabby T. Clown: Yeah, like parked cars with
babies with real fragile necks in 'em?
Stabby T. Clown: She backs into the parked car,
the baby's head goes back and forth real fast like those dashboard
bobbing dolls?
Stabby T. Clown: sorry, not parked car, parked Lexus
Stabby T. Clown: Was the first car a Lexus, Mighty?
Skygen: was there puppies in it?
Stabby T. Clown: puppies with real fragile
necks?
Angel Dream: I used to be in a SG named Dead
Kitten Society or something like that
Stabby T. Clown: Dead Lexus Society?
Angel Dream: lol
Skygen: cant swing a dead cat without hitting a
corruptor in here
Stabby T. Clown: or backing into one!
Angel Dream: lol
Stabby T. Clown: HE LOGGED OFF
Stabby T. Clown: BAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA
Angel Dream: lol
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So,
Villains...how's your New Year of 2006 going so far? Stabby's doing
GREAT, thanks for asking. Level 39 and going strong...only 8 bubs away
from level 40, Real Ultimate Power...until the Devs raise the level
cap to 50, anyways.
Good News! Or
should I say, EVIL!!! News? The Cool
Villain Names and Stupid
Villain Names sections are up! Stabby hopes you enjoy, and if
your picture is in the Stupid Villain Names Department, don't be too
angry: it's just Stabby's opinion, kay?
If you enjoy
the new "departments", or even if you don't, send in your screenshots
of stupidly-named/originally-named villains to
stabbytclown@gmail.com and
I'll be happy to put 'em up and credit you with the picture.
Holidays on the
Pinnacle server were a blast! Stabby had a great time opening
presents, stabbing snowmen, and stealing other people's gifts. The
holiday jetpack was suitably EVIL!!!, as it expired just as Stabby was
flying approximately 2,000 feet above ground. Nothing like seeing a
plummeting clown meteor to make one's day more surreal.
Check back in
with Stabby as there'll be a blog update in the next couple of days.
Join the
Forums, why doncha?
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I must say, it's been a good year for ol' Stabby. Aside
from being created, this evil mutant lyclownthrope has been having a
blast stabbing super "heroes" and running missions in 'City
of Villains'. I've also hooked up with a GREAT Supergroup,
World Wide Evil.
To Tazz and Merc and the rest of the SG, a big Thank You from
the bottom of my Stabby Heart. You've made an already incredibly
enjoyable game even more FUN.
And, of course, this humble clown's website won second place in the
recent
City of Heroes Fansite Contest. This will be the last time I
mention it, I swear! I know everyone's probably sick and tired of me
going on and on about it...but it was a real honor for Stabby
T. Clown, and I thank Cryptic
Studios and NCSoft for
choosing me.
Stabby is now at level 35 and going strong! Soon the day will come
when I have all the EERIE STALKER POWERS available in my power-pools.
Hehehe, I can hardly wait! I love getting new abilities to use
against soft, squishy super heroes.
And that's the topic of the latest Stabby
Blog Installment! Woot, I say, woot! We're up to Evil Weblog
Entry Number Five and going strong. I hope you likey-like; it's
a long one, full of nice pictures of me insulting my victims. God, I
love this game.
You'll notice a new "Super Villain Shout!" tagboard to the right. Feel
free to send some shout-outs to your evil buddies! It's fun, free,
needs no registration, and it's instant! Villains are already
tagging, so here's your chance to make your early mark on Stabby's
Super Villain Shout!
In the next few days I'll be adding a couple of new sections to
Stabby's Website. There will be a Super Villain and Super Villain
Group roster page, so send in your link to your own Evil site! I've
already been receiving 'em at my email, which is
stabbytclown@gmail.com.
Send yours in soon, and Stabby *WILL* list you! I'm getting 200 - 300+
hits a day now since I won the
City of Heroes Fansite Contest, which I promised I wouldn't
mention again. Sorry. But if you link with Stabby, the hits will come.
I'm
also planning a couple of sections, one for screenshots of "Cool Super
Villain Names" and one for "Dumb Super Villain Names". Whatever server
you are on, please send me your screen-shots of funny, interesting,
and/or stupidly-named Villains. Don't bother sending me hero names,
since all heroes are dumb to begin with. Evil!!!!
Well,
it looks like 2005 is almost at a close, and indeed, it's been a good
one for Stabby. I wish to extend my Heartiest Stabby Blessings
to all my Friends & Faithful Readers in City of Villains. May
your plans for world domination come true, may your death rays be
built under cost, and may the bodies of the super heroes crumple
around you in giant heaps.
Stabby Stabby!
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Stabby For Teh Win!!11!
Imagine my evil mutant surprise and
delight to discover Stabby's Website won second place in the "Best
City of Villains Site – Informational" category in the CoH Fansite
Contest! I suppose I should make my acceptance speech, a la The
Oscars...soooo, for wacky fun, just imagine this little movie
unspooling in your evil Villainous brain:
Scene: Interior: Cryptic Studio Awards
Ceremony Auditorium. The huge room is packed to the rafters with the
audience, who raptly watches Jack Emmert, the Master Of Ceremonies,
announce the winners in the City of Heroes Fansite Contest:
JACK
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, heroes
and villains. (screams in deep voice and pumps his fist in the air)
STATESMAN RULEZ! (calms down) In the category of "Best City
of Villains Site - Informational" category, the second prize goes
to...Stabby T. Clown!!
General confusion and disorder in the
audience as Stabby, a hideously ugly evil mutant clown & Amway
representative, jumps up and runs over the knees and abdomens of
everyone sitting in his way to the stage.
STABBY
I won! I won! Yeah! Go ME! Stabby For
Teh Win! Get out of MY WAY Grandma! (stabs a slow-moving BEA
ARTHUR) Move those knees! I'll stab your FACE if you DON'T get out
of my WAY I WON! YEAHHH!!
JACK
(Whispers in his official NCSoft
2-way wrist radio) Alert the Statesman Reserves. We may have a
problem here.
STABBY
(Finally gets to the stage) HI,
JACK! I love your work! GIMME THAT! (grabs the golden award statue
from Jack's hand) MINE! (grabs Jack's upper left bicep)
Hey, do you work out?
JACK
(Whispers in his 2-way wrist radio)
Scratch that last message. We definitely have a problem
here.
STABBY
STABBY MAKE SPEECH NOW! (pushes Jack
off the front of the stage into the orchestra pit. Huge explosion of
discordant NOISE as Jack crushes various musical instruments and the
Asian flutist) You know, it's not often that this evil mutant
clown gets recognition for his hard work. Most people think Stabby
just runs around and stabs people while humming Nine-Inch Nails tunes
to himself...but that's just a part of the wonder of Stabby T. Clown.
I like to think of myself as a people person. A people-stabbing
person. But those people that I don't stab on a regular basic, I like
to call...my friends. And when I'm not playfully stabbing my
friends, I put many hard hours of work into Stabby T. Clown's City of
Villains Website Parenthesis For Super Villains Only Parenthesis.
JACK
(pulling himself out of the remains
of the orchestra as the Statesman Reservists show up in
the wings) Reservists...I want you to kick that clown's
"parenthesis". NOW.
STABBY
Yes, I do it for YOU, Super Villains in
the audience. Stabby does it for all the Evil-Do'ers out there on your
Internets: the robbers, the killers, the Tony Randall slappers...
Cut To: Audience
GEORGE CLOONEY (in audience)
(turns to JENNIFER ANISTON
sitting beside him) Tony Randall slappers?
JENNIFER ANISTON
I dunno. Who's Tony Randall?
BEA ARTHUR
(whispering in weak voice) help
meee...I'm bleeding...to death...
Cut To: Stabby on stage.
Jack and about thirty Statesman Reservists are carefully
creeping towards the evil mutant clown from the left side of the
stage.
STABBY
And even though this is just a
second place award, somehow signifying Stabby is inferior in some
way, well...it's NOT TRUE! Stabby is ALL-MAN, ALL-CLOWN, baby! Why
the HELL did that "Arachnos
Mutagenics" site get first place, anyways?!? I have it on good
authority that the webmaster there EATS KITTENS and FREEBASES
GOOFBALLS! I've got PROOF, dammit, see, I wrote it in here, it's in my
pants...(puts hand down front of pants)...wait, that's not
it...hold on...
JACK
Okay, okay, that's it! Show's over.
Reservists, do your duty. I gotta go to the hospital and get a flute
fragment pulled out of my *&_@#.
As over thirty brawny Statesman
Reservists pile on top of Stabby, the evil mutant
clown begins screaming total nonsense about his conspiracy theories
and the genetic make-up of the Reservists attacking him.
Jack
(Slowly shaking his head and
muttering to himself as he walks off the stage) Next game I
design, it's gonna be a nice predictable swords & sorcery setting...no
more attracting these total lunatics...God I need a nice hot cup of
tea...
LE FIN MERCI BEAUCOUP EH?
Hehehehe...just razzin' ya, Jack. You're
a heckuva guy, and I'd never push you into an orchestra pit.
Statesman, though, that's another matter...
Again, a sincere Stabby Thank you to
everyone at Cryptic Studios and NCSoft for choosing my humble site as
a winner in your contest. Stabby promises all his Super Villain
Faithful Readers that he will continue to update the site on a regular
basis, with pictures of heroes being killed, or at least verbally
humiliated...because...that is why we are Super Villains, in the first
place. To insult the Heroes. Yes.
Check back in a day or two for a new
update in the Stabby Weblog O' Evil!
I Remain,
Your Humble Evil Mutant Clown &
Webservant,
Stabby T. Clown
World Wide Evil
Incorporated, Pinnacle Server.
P.S. Look for new & exciting features
coming up on Stabby T. Clown's website! A Super Villain Group Free
Listing Page! A Super Villain Graffiti Board! Free Evil Hamsters,
the kind with the red glowing eyes that watch and judge you,
*FREE* for your Super Villainous children! Yes! Do the FUN TIMES ever
STOP at Stabby's? Answer: NO. EVILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Be Proud. Be Evil. Be Proud & Evil.
EVIL!!!
Yet another entry
in Stabby T. Clown's Weblog Of EVIL!!! May your dark Villainous heart
enjoy...
Stabby needs Your Help. No, not
financial, calm down. Stabby's doing JUST FINE economically
from his daily bank heists and Mob hits. What Stabby T. Clown needs
from you are links...sweet, juicy, delicious brai...er, LINKS.
It's my goal to get every website having
anything do to with City of
Villains linked to and from this website. If you have ANY link
about CoV you feel is worthy and helpful, send it to Stabby, please! I
strongly wish to make this website one of the main one-stop
information resources for all Super Villains, as well as an
entertaining blog about my super-powered criminal activities.
If you have a website about your Super
Villain and/or Supergroup, SEND IT IN! Stabby WILL list your EVIL
Super Villain Group, along with a picture of your group's crew, if you
want. If you have created a CoV fansite, Stabby will be more than
happy to do the good ol' link exchange with you. Found a particularly
informative article having to do with City of Villains? Send the link
to Stabby.
Only by pooling our villainous resources
together can we defeat the "Heroes". And information is power. Help
Stabby and Stabby Will Help You, Super Villain!
The forums have been a little dead
lately, so you can also help this website by becoming a member! It's
free, fast and easy to do, and comes with instant evil karma. Besides,
I promised to post a screenshot of anybody who becomes a regular on
Stabby's Forum, and I stick by that promise.
Hope to meet you in-game, or in the
Stabby Forums!
EVIL!!!
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New blog entry!
Number three, in fact. I hope you like the pictures.
Experienced a nasty team wipe the other
day. Well, it wasn't an entire team wipe, since Yours Truly
survived. There's a picture of it in my journal. I'm not sure if my
team members will appreciate me posting graphic images of their
corpses mouldering on cold Longbow linoleum, but it's my website,
so there.
You may have already noticed "Stabby
T. Clown's City Of Villains Website For Super Villains Only" (phew)
has a nifty Flash banner I whipped up. I've been dabbling with Flash
in between my online CoV sessions, and while the banner is pretty
basic, I hope you find it visually appealing (but only if you're a
Super Villain, remember).
Stabby's also has RSS Feeds! Woo hoo!
The Features O' Fun never stop rollin' in. I have the combined feeds
from the offical PlayNC City of
Heroes/Villains
website, the City of Villains Vault
newsfeed from IGN.com, and the RSS feed from the
Warcry Network. Annnnd...Server
Status! I sincerely hope
you find these useful, you Villain, you.
See you in game! Or if you're a hero,
Stab you in game! Stabby Stabby!
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Stabby's almost level 26 now...I'd play City of Villains more if I could,
but Real Life often intrudes.
I
enjoy levelling, believe you me. I like getting a new power, which
you don't get every level, so that just makes me strive harder to get to a
new power slot level. Vicious cycle, but fun.
Stabby's has been getting a lot of hits and compliments from the City of
Villains community, and I Thank You! Please join the forums, will you?
You'll make me a Happy Clown. And, as I've posted in the forums, everyone
who becomes a regular in Stabby's Forums will have their main villain
character screenshot displayed in the upcoming "Regular's Roster...of
EVIL!".
I've added a new entry in the Stabby Blog with some GREAT pictures. I hope
you enjoy, but only if you're a Villain. If you're a Superhero, GO AWAY.
--
Stabby T. Clown.
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Welcome to Stabby T. Clown's
City Of
Villains Website. Unless you're a total nub (or the typical thick-headed
superhero), City Of Villains is the best damn MMORPG in the Universe, unless
you count
City Of Heroes, of
course.
If you enjoy great gameplay, lots of
original content, and, well, just being a superhero or Supervillain (notice
which one I capitalize...damn heroes...), then grab a copy of City Of Heroes
and/or City Of Villains today. And, no, I'm not being paid to say that; I've
played A LOT of online multiplayer role-playing and strategy games and I
have to honestly say the good developers at
Cryptic Studios have raised the
"kickass game" standard.
So you're probably
wondering..who the hell is this Stabby T. Clown guy? I'm currently on the
Pinnacle server, bent on Total World Domination...all in the service of my
boss, Lord Recluse, of course...(grumble
grumble).
If you're a Supervillain, consider this
site a little informal hangout on your Internets. If you're a (ahem)
"superhero", GO AWAY NOW K THNX. Your deluded goody-two-shoes type just
isn't wanted here.
But if you consider yourself a true Evil
Do-er, Bad Guy, Kitten Eater, whatever...welcome to Stabby's!
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