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'The Ongoing Romantic Adventures of cute_pretty_donna@yahoo.ca'I enjoy the occasional Yahoo! IM prank; who doesn't? Fortunately, the Internet is the perfect place to disguise one's identity for the sole purpose of annoying people for 'comedy gold'. One of my favorite pranks is to pose as a female on Yahoo! or MSN to harvest the sweet 'n juicy hilarity that ensues when guys try to chat with me...uh, her. While I prefer to come up with original ideas, IM-Pranking is just too irresistible to, uh, resist. So I delved deep into my feminine side and came upon "cute_pretty_donna" jiggling inside my soul. Known to her friends as 'Donna Bigguns', cute_pretty_donna constantly searches the Internet for True Love. She gets a lot of messages, usually from people who haven't checked out her profile before engaging her in cyber-conversation. When said eager horny male(s) do deign to scope out cute_pretty_donna's picture, they are confronted by this incredible example of pixilated sensuality: |
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OH DEAR JESUS GOD NO PLEASE GOD NO WHY WHY WHY |
| Not that I actually
have anything against fat women in particular. I used to be a morbidly obese
child and teen myself, so I know the agony of being teased for being
different and hefty. But, you must admit, the picture has a certain
shock value. I'm employing it in order to taunt & annoy & humiliate
impolite guys on the 'Net, not make fun of overweight women. Fat chicks
are funny enough anyways, especially when they're having trouble breathing;
they don't need me to add to their grief. 'cute_pretty_donna' debuted on Yahoo! Messenger to general praise and acclaim, in the sense that 'praise' means 'horror' and 'acclaim' means 'permanent male emotional damage'. Miss Bigguns enjoys exploring all Yahoo chat rooms, but she sometimes finds it a bit routine: as soon as she enters a room, private messages flood into cute_pretty_donna's electronic orifice pleading for her attention. Many of these guys don't even look at her profile picture, so Donna inevitably calls it to their attention, and then they usually FREAK OUT. Heh. That said, let's get to the real joy here, which is other people than you and I getting really really annoyed. I've posted some of the best chat logs below, and I'll add to them whenever I get the random whim to become 'cute_pretty_donna' again. Which will be soon, since posing as a deranged morbidly obese single woman seems to emotionally satisfy all the bitterness I hold towards both women (for never wanting to screw me) and men (for always wanting to screw women). I know, I know, pretty fucked up, but at least I can unload my neuroses through optical fibers onto innocent strangers. |
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Yahoo! Instant Messenger Pranks
"cute_pretty_donna"